Wednesday 30 May 2007

Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy

1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets thecheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much water would the ocean have without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hellhappened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear to bebright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos.What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Contribuição do nosso DMD...

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Quem é o nosso DMD!!??

Em dos meus filmes de culto.
Uma comédia satírica pontuada de humor negro e profusa em sentimentalidade!

São 24 reflexões geniais, provindos duma sabedoria distorcida mas quiçá a mais ajustada ao nosso quitidiano tão sui generis...

E já que estamos a desempoeirar o baú das antologias, alguém se lembra do Rei dos Gazeteiros com o Mathew Broderick na pele do irreverente Ferris Bueller?

«Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and take a look around once in a while, you might miss it».

Nostalgias da telinha... :)

Sururu

Anonymous said...

Errata ao comentário prévio:

2ª linha: UM dos meus...

7ª linha: nosso QUOTIDIANO tão...

Sururu trapalhona.

Anonymous said...

too long :S

Anonymous said...

Nem sei que diga... Esperava antes um poema do DMD ou uma pintura do levezinho de abintes....

Barão

Anonymous said...

Uraite im Portuguise plise. Mai Inglis ise véri béde.

Ióres
Ornitorrinco

Anonymous said...

O Zoo já tem acesso à net!? Anda por aqui uma bichagem estranha que é a prova de que o Criador até tem sentido de humor...


Sururu

Anonymous said...

Mas afinal a que espécie pertence um Sururu? Cheira-me a espécie fêmea...pelo palavreado!